Sherry sleeps and sleeps. It is now quarter to nine and she is still deep into a sleep that began more than 12 hours ago. I know that the new medications are contributing. I have been fussing about the house since 7:00am: filling the teapot with water, measuring Sherry's oatmeal into the saucepan, straightening up, even making a bit more noise than necessary. Around 7:00am is the time that Sherry has been waking up since we returned from the hospital this last time. It has been the best time for our connection, for us to touch hearts, each the others. Because her wakeful time is becoming more abbreviated it has become more precious. Because her voice quality has been so severely compromised what she chooses to say has gained even greater importance.
Having heart to heart time and being able to listen carefully to Sherry's words are essential for me to know how I can contribute to Sherry's peace; what I can give her as final gifts. I don't completely know the attributes of these gifts. I know that a small plate with carefully arranged treats is one of them. She brightened when I brought her a slice of pear tart after her chicken stir fry dinner. A warm washcloth caressing her face is as much of a gift to me as it is to her. The physical things are relatively easy both in presentation and in reading the degree of pleasure they bring to Sherry.
The emotional, spiritual things are more difficult. Is it assurances? She knows my grief digs as deep as my love. She knows that she is ever a part of me. I know, and I have told her, that I firmly believe that all will be well. There may be more that I have not heard or understood. I yearn for her to awaken, smile as I touch her face, and tell me what she needs to say that I might better understand. I am stunned by the magnitude of the little I ask.
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Oh Dearest Doug,
ReplyDeleteYour sweet gifts of love not only touch Sherry's heart but ours. I will continue to pray for Sherry to be fully engaged with you when she is awake. Thank you for sharing so honestly with us about this journey, it is a lavish gift for which I am thankful.
Warmly in Christ,
Patty E.
Dear Doug,
ReplyDeleteMy heart and prayers are with you….When I spoke with Sherry in October, I told her I would be praying this prayer for her: “Lord, in your mercy, grant to your servant a rich entrance into your kingdom.” Most certainly this prayer is being fulfilled, in large part because of your devoted care and love for her. And please know that your blog is a priceless gift to those of us who love Sherry, but cannot be near at hand.
With constant prayer for you both,
Susan Creighton
The foggy morning tries to awake here. Your words touch a deep place awaking me to what is most precious, most real. My prayers for you and Sherry are strong and constant. Sending you both love and peace and hopes for many shared holy moments.
ReplyDeleteMargie Kimberley