This is the seventh day that Sherry has been in bed all day. Her strength and coordination have improved to some extent since last Friday when she was admitted to the hospital. In spite of the improvements Sherry is completely dependent on other people to have her needs met. I try, but I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose control of my body where my appendages won't do what they used to do easily, without even thinking. I think that Sherry is looking down the long road to subsequent days. Immediate days hold little promise for getting out of bed. I believe she will do her best to build herself up to transferring from bed to a wheel chair, and to reach her goal of sitting in the white chair (the recliner in the living room) where she liked to sit before this last setback.
What I have seen of this glioblastoma progression is like riding on a roller coaster. After the initial stomach-in-your-throat drop, the climb up the next hill never quite reaches the height of the first one. So it is with every drop and climb that follows, until such point when gravity wins out. The nature of the hills and the reasons for the drops are complex mysteries. There are twists and turns that surprise and stymie. Sherry is showing me the meaning of real faith and courage. It takes everything for her to take her hands off of the restraining bar, hold her arms high in the air, and enjoy the ride.
We lit the gratitude candle tonight as we enjoyed a wonderful dinner of green salad, clam chowder, and Fuji apple slices with curls of Ski Queen Norwegian goat cheese. I made the salad, sliced the apples, and teased curls off the block of goat cheese. I wish I could take credit for the clam chowder. It was a superlative gift, seasoned generously with love.
I am already planning to delight her tomorrow morning with a mushroom-cheese omelet, buttered whole wheat toast made from Great Harvest honey wheat bread, apple sauce, and PG Tips tea. Let's see...some Baroque music? Maybe Vivaldi? Other delights to catch onto--arms stretched hope high in the air with abandon and embrace.
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As I read this Doug, I am reminded of the time oh so many years ago when you told Ian the story of (I draw a blank on the name but want to say Sysafris sp?). Ian being only months old and I still dealing with my accident, you sat on the floor and told him of pushing the rock up the hill and to never give up even if the rock should fall back down. Ian looked into your eyes ever so intently and I know today he heard those words.
ReplyDeleteKnow that you have many friends with you on the roller coaster and that we are there to steady the falls from high as well as push up the hills. Your words carry such strength and the love is so evident. As you have said, Love is all there is and there is an abundance for you and Sherry. Diane